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    How to identify Liberals and Conservatives

    Liberals usually fish from the sterns of rented rowboats, while Conservatives prefer to cast off the docks and let the fish come to them. Liberals tend to eat the fish they catch; Conservatives prefer to stuff them and hang them up in recreation rooms. Conservatives tend to donate their wornout clothes to the needy; Liberals wear theirs. If they see bugs, Conservatives are inclined to call for exterminators; Liberals are more likely to step on them. Conservatives usually prefer twin beds, which may contribute to the fact that Canada has more Liberals. Peter C. Newman (1929- ), Austrian-born Canadian author and editor. “How do You Tell the Difference,” The Canadian Voter’s Guide: Election 79 (1979). 

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